It was that time of the year

When it was cold outside

With pain and fear- your friends sincere

You sat there all alone and cried

Sat there in the bitter chill

Wishing your hurt would subside

Wondering if God knew of kinder ways to kill.

Death was life for your life had died,

Happiness, love and warmth- from you they shied.

The blurry mist, the foggy haze-

Your fortune for the rest of your days

Bleak black skies- so very dark

They blind you to your cold, empty hands.

With a destination, your journey

You thought you'd embark.

What was once firm rocky lands;

Standing on which you planned to make your mark

Is nothing but mere quick sand.

Are you at a crossroad?

Are you at a dead end?

You don't seem to know!

In the middle of nowhere

With no place to go

But you know you'll get there...somewhere

You know you'll get there... somehow.

Somewhere is a place all of us strive to go.

For me, it could be Heaven,

For you it could be Xanadu.

Some know their ‘somewhere'

Few know the way

Fewer get there

But not all get to stay.

Miles above the moon shines through the obscure skies.

Bleached, blurred, opaqued- it still does rise.

Your body hurts, your soul is scarred.

But Hope, Faith and Trust- that will suffice.

You just need to believe, believe from your heart.

There is nothing here.

There is nothing around.

Its all up there

To Him you are bound.

Look up, Look therein...

Black skies but stars twinkling within

Sparkling and dancing- all shiny and bright.

They are all there...just like any summer night.

They have been there. Been there long.

Doing their part; spreading their light around.

Though at day-break you feel they don't belong.

If your heart believes, they can be found...

...Perhaps shining just a little

Not enough for the whole world to see.

But shining long

Long enough to write the whole world's history.

Learn from them

There is light in dark

Thought just a little dot

You've still made your mark.

These little dots scattered here and there

All join to make a line

That takes you . . . SOMEWHERE !

Copyright ©2007 Divya Das (lol!!)

I have never listened to the Goo Goo Dolls the way I have today. Iris has never made me cringe from within the way it does today. The man I loved not so many moons ago is getting married. He gave me up because he never wanted to stay committed. Now under pressure from his family, he has decided to tie the knot. The woman he is going to marry in another 3 months time is a complete stranger to him. He has never met her but yet he believes she is the best. What does that make me? Or the woman he spent 6 years loving and living with before he dumped her? Am I sad? Of course I am sad. Sad for the woman who will soon be his wife. I just hope she is not in for what I think she will be. I hope, for her own good, that she is the miracle he needs. This song is dedicated to my lost love and his new life...

Better Days


And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

Click on the links below for my songs of the day.

Iris

Better Days

I thought ur priorities were messed up when u did that. I know u dont mean to be that way, but it gets to my nerves when u go around forgiving the one who betrayed me, took advantage of my feelings for him, swung from being just a friend to a lot more whenever he felt the  need to, was downright rude to you, and still tries to pretend as if nothing ever happened. Maybe u loved him like a son, but it doesnt make him one. Why did you believe him when he begged for forgiveness and asked for a second chance? Maybe its because you dont know about the week in Hikkaduwa, our passionate kisses, his wish that I be the mother of his adopted children, his wish that the two of us live next to eachother in the same street so we could always be together, his lies, his betrayal, my stupidity. It didnt stop there. I was helping him pack when you called to speak to him. It was a tiring day, and my back hurt at the end of it. He said he would give me a massage. Like the one he gave me in Hikkaduwa before our first kiss. This time it led to more than just a kiss. This time it was about desperate hopes, selfish needs and inconsiderate decisions. He left the next morning. I have never felt smaller. Or maybe I have, when Susan came back after visiting him for 2 weeks, and he'd sent with her a present for me from London- a keychain with a fat wooden man. This after I'd gifted him chinese artifacts, swiss knifes, homecooked meals, unconditional love, pick ups and drop offs to bus stations when I should've been helping out at home. And you thought he was being a good son to you? Is that why he asked you to lay off his life once he was out of all his troubles and he needed us no more? And you find it in your heart to forgive the one who wronged your only child, and love him like your own.

I havent told you explicitly about our physical relationship, but isn't is obvious. I told you I spent 5 nights in the same bed with him in Sri Lanka. Do you think just because I am your daughter I do not feel the urge? Do you think just because he was like your son, he would treat your daughter like his sister- your daughter who loved him beyond the highest forms of love? Were you really blind to all this or were you just letting me make my mistakes? If its the former, I must say you are really naive. If its the latter, I wish I didn't have to learn all my lessons the hard way. You know, you are allowed to tell me to stop doing somethings sometimes. Like achan, who keeps telling me what to do, what not to do, where to go, when to go, when to come back, what to wear, what to think, what to say...all the time. I don't know what has become of me- being subject to your indifference and his authoritarian ways. I think I lost myself somewhere down the line- a long time ago.

I dont know if its an offshoot of global warming,  but i am experiencing a totally new season in my life. Its like an extended version of  the infamous ''one of those'' days. And under extreme conditions it can overshadow winter, summer, spring or autumn. However, I am sorta getting acclamatised to its characteristics, having been exposed to it for a reasonably long while now. . That apart, today was quite eventful...the driver ran off with the company's medicine stocks and cant be traced. The maid wants a couple of days off to set up her new home, and I had a great time with Abdul this evening. Its too bad I have a curfew and he leaves in another 12 days. Its quite embarassing for someone who is a seasoned adult, 26, financially, emotionally independant but yet having to abide by certain rules when living with her parents. For the most part its a good deal- living with parents, but there needs to be proper communication and mutual respect for space. And just because your daughter lives with you doesnt mean she is still a child who needs constant supervision and advice.

I am supposed to be on a break. I have toiled every single day of my life in the last two years at work and at home, working 12 hours a day on an average and coming back home to babysit my grandmother and my canine partner. Fun formed a very small percentile of my time. When I wasn't working, I was cleaning, dusting, bathing the dog, trying to put up with a stupid yet conniving manager making retarded comments and accepting exploitative projects from higher managements, falling in love with all the wrong men, getting hurt, running after plumbers, rejecting moves from all the possibly right men, fighting with the water authorities, fighting with the bank that always confused my account with another namesake's, trying to find parking, negotiating with the broadband providers for screwing my bills and charging me with tariffs four times higher than the original charges and trapping rats that got into my car and chewed off wires. I had decided that enough was enough and pulled the career plug early november last year. It was time for a break. Ten days later later I flew down to meet my parents in cambodia. A week after, the three of us took off for Singapore and Malaysia. Short holiday but we had some good times. A week later, Mom went back to India. Its been just me and dad since then.

My initial plans when I quit work at Reuters was to spend a year in Cambodia. Dad leaves in another 2 months and he doesnt think its a good idea for me to stay on without him. ''You'll lose the villa, the car, the 24-hour broadband connection, the driver, the maid, satellite TV...'' he said. ''It doesnt matter, I can survive'' I reasoned.  ''Moreover, this country is not politically stable yet, its not safe around here, dont u see? Last night a guy got shot up the street''. ''It was a political killing, not a random shoot out'' i argued. ''What if it was a random shoot out?'' he shot out at me. I drew a really looooooonnnnggg breath. This could, and if I didnt put an end to it immediately, would, go on and on and on...and yet get me nowhere. Once dad makes up his mind, there is very little I can do to change it. So I said no to the job offer. I am trying to reason with his reasoning. His higher logic maintains that I am cut out for much more than teaching a bunch of kids who just wont learn anyway. He thinks I will do well for myself if I focus more on what I had originally trained for- Journalism. He is right...but I am too chicken to try. I think the rest of them are too good for me to be able to make a niche of my own. Some folks call it very low self esteem on my part. I just call it a realistic measurement of my capabilities...
''why dont u find a job in a place like singapore- its rich, vibrant, safe, full of opportunities- and I'd have no concerns letting you live on your own in a country like that''. That was a deal he threw for me to grab. I have left it untouched on the table. I dont know what to do about my life anymore.

I had hoped to enjoy my  break- meeting old friends, making new ones, getting drunk, going to the disco, flirting with the guys, doing things I deprived myself of in the last few years. But dad, with his bloody 8 pm curfew has killed every bit of exitement I could've had. Abdul wont call me for late evening parties anymore. I turned down two in a week- why would he call me again. He works till 8 pm and so does Harry. Meeting them for dinner after that has been ruled out. Harry leaves next week and Abdul in another 12 days. Just about lost two friends even before I really made them. Abdul is a lot more understanding. I think he likes me and is willing to accomodate my need to get back home before its too late. He said he wants us to spend more time getting to know eachother in the next 12 days that he is here. I wish he dint have to go. He is incredibly nice. Intellectually stimulating, charming, compassionate, shy, understanding, gentlemanly...Isnt it true that everyone has a dark side???

Hi yall!

I am new to the neighbourhood having moved in today. I was up on Yahoo 360 before this, but its not very social. You can link to my previous posts by clicking on 'the other place' on the top right of this page. I hope to meet many of you in here in the days to come.