I remember walking down a random street by myself in a random town long ago in time and space, the sun shining nice and bright above, the fleecy white clouds making its way across the bird spangled blue skies, pretty yellow flowers dotting the dusty gray pavements on which slept lazy old dogs...brown, black, white, spotted. And the horrid sense of shame. I remember walking down these roads every single day of my life with mankind's eye's fixed on me, judging me, rediculing me, disregarding me. Stop I'd scream. In vain. And the pall of collective disdain would descend on me and grab me in its frightful claws like a hungry vulture does swoop down over a terrified and timid mouse. I hear them call my name out and tell me how worthless I really am. I began to nauseate at the very sound of my name... those five morbid letters d..i..v..y..a strung together. Ah how rueful. I'd close my eyes tight hoping to wipe it all away. But alas, they kept playing in my head. Sharper than ever. Home, where is home? And my four walls? Haven, safe haven. The world wont find me there. The cruel unfaithful world that I could never make sense out of. I had tried so hard, but it shattered my little heart eachtime. My own world I shall make within the confines of my head, and my walls. A world where I could be me and not be embarassed about it. A world where I would not have to worry about being violated and abused. A world where I could learn to trust again. A world where there are no eyes following me or no voices passing judgements on me every moment. So, with the slamming of my bedroom door, I'd transcend from one world to the other. From the perverse and sacriligious to the reverent and deferential, and back again.                       cont...